its windy and breezy, rainy season is here!!!

usually, with a great season comes a Great story, maybe i like to think that i got reject in my scholarship. rather than being so stupid. so here i am, glue in some puzzle pieces left in my live. need more movie to watch more episode to go more chapter to read.
wait for my next post. its definitely about movie review.

my level of neurotic increasing

i decided to wrote about my top ten list fall movie playlist. im about to think what movie perfect for breezy and cold weather like fall. but suddenly i imagining myself in Seoul 2018 Fall. what am i gonna do in there, what color of coat i have, so i start to cry again and think my ruin Scholarship Application.
i dont know how long since i wrote last time, and yet i still didnt get a call from Korean Embassy, i keep waiting everyday. i pray more than i ever have. i believe that even underdogs like me has a day, i keep asking to god that this is what i always want since i was a kid theres nothing more i ask.

well i dont know why i wrote this thing in here, truthfully im scared to death. i feel so stupid now, what am i gonna do then.
do i have to keep waiting that mysterious call from embassy Chapter.

The Most Important Time in My Life

its a mid crisis everyone...

do you all remember what i said last time. that my next post im going to be in Seoul with a cup of espresso and living my dream. 

well, its just a week after i send the application and im as crazy as hell. every day i spent with tears and anxiety. i used all my charm and sword to wrote that personal statement and study plan i give all my best when preparing those document, i cant give up right now. but, i cant control my mind it goes crazy, it imagine all the negative stuff what am i suppossed to do if i get rejected. i read a book about dont kill myself im this close to sleep and dont have any reason to live. 

every evening i cry with my friends Lia, she told me to calm down and wait same goes with Swasti. but im not and optimistic person in the first place. i always the pessimistic one and its hard to change. but i dont want to roll over and died. 

so, there are two thing inside my head now, negative and positive. i cant watch the movie anymore, i cant hear the song, i feel so blind and deaf. but i wasn't stupid. so i dont know what to do.i pray more than ever, more than when i have to do finals. more than anything. because this is what i always wanted to do since i can read. study in foreign country. 

everyone, i need more more and more wish more than ever. this scholarship is my chance to be a happy human being. and i can finally watch olympiade in Pyeongchang if i get this scholarship 3rd list on the bucket. 

i god if only i wasn't so stupid...
and i wish this KGSP will help me to finally feels like a human being

Looking For .... My Ideas and right Mid

HI!!!!
almost a few a month i'm prerpare for scholarship in korea. i realize that i didnt do anything at all, after a few a month theres no thing that i acomplish instead im busy getting afraid and being negative. now come the time for me to write my personal statement. i dont even know who i am. why all those idea and the thing i always proud of gone.
wish me luck, for my next publish i will be already in Seoul. study mass media and living my dream.


BYE!!!!

" The Darjeeling Limited " : when your life need a little bit of unpredictable journey

" The Darjeeling Limited "

" His youngest brother want to leave, his second brother want some love, he want his brother"

Do you believe in coincidence? I used to believe it. john green said “It's hard to believe in coincidence, but it's even harder to believe in anything else.” that's true, I believe in john green. many miles away from John Green this morning I have to believe the coincidence. I don't want to talk about the long and windy story about it but I still don't believe in coincidence.

I finally found a good movie to write. " The Darjeeling Limited " Directed by Wes Anderson FYI I always falling in love with Wes Anderson's movie.

 The Story begins with Peter Whitman (Adrien Brody) running around in station chasing for leaving train in peak city of India. Peter is the youngest of Whitman Brothers, his oldest brother Francis Whitman (Owen Wilson) is rich guy who can handle anything with money, after all his life he has been taking care of his brother Francis attempt to bond with each other a year after his father funeral by travel across India  by "The Darjeeling Ltd " train. after boarding a train Peter found out his two miserable brothers, Francis has recently survived from fatal motor accident while Jack (Jason Schwartzman), his second Brother is Obsessed with her Ex-girlfriend back in Italy. For the sake of journey of their spiritual Self-discovery, Francis with the help of his assistant is making the strict rule itinerary and plan to take all of his brother's passport so they can continue their journey in peace. Francis also secretly ask his assistant to searching for his estranged mother whom the three of them never seen in ages. three of them with the faith in the heart and their father belonging on their shoulder begin to unordinary journey in India.
The Train takes them to various Hindu Temple and place, as time goes by Peter and Jack become annoyed with Francis Controlling behavior. Francis figures out that Jack keeps checking his ex-girlfriend message box while has a fling with the stewardess, Rita. and accidentally know that Peter will have a baby that he doesn't want.
by Accident Francis slowly reveal to his brother that the purpose of this journey is to meet his mother. knowing the truth Jack and Peter upset and said they wouldn't have come if Francis told them earlier. after a few attempt to do a ceremony with peacock feather they have to cancel again and wait for the next stop, but I guess no more next stop. Whitman brothers are kicked out of compartment because they keep messing around with chief stewardess and make other passengers uncomfortable.

I don't know exactly the reason I feel so emotionally spiritual fulfilled by watching this movie. I know I talk nonsense but this is real. with the beautiful peak city in India and small crowded train compartment simple story with an incredible background so touching. The Directed himself is always scattered magic in his movie. The damn detailed, the beautiful scenery remind me of Woody Allen's "Magic in the Moonlight", the awkward but interesting plot just like " The Royal Tenenbaum" and "Rushmore",  the perfect cast blend perfectly with the simple touch of harmony, Wes Anderson Somehow can make his magic work. 

in the end, where should we look for the destiny of our life ? do you sometimes found a coin in the street while going for coffee? or do sometimes you lost a wallet when your friend ask you for money? i guess some people might think that coincidence just like what einstein said " Coincidence is God way of remaining anonymous " maybe Einstein meet coincidence when he developed the theory of relativity, the point is when coincidence happen you don't have time to believe whether this is coincidence or your careless behaviour, when your wallet were gone, when you found a coin, or when your shoes were stolen like Francis, you're not gonna angry or sad, you will think about a lot of stuff how are you gonna back to train with only one shoes and in the end the biggest question on Francis life is " What should i do in my life if my father no longer by my side? ". for us human no matter how precise you arranged it life is like always " Late chasing moving train" we rush, we worried, we panic, we scared, even though that train is not even 5 meter away, the train are slowly but we can't manage to catch up right on time, that's how human always hurry always late sometimes even depend on their whole life fortunes by a small peacock feather.

A : i want us to be brother again, like we used to be.

   

next movie are still in progress. hope i found another movie to watch and less stupid people to deal.

"Manchester By The Sea" The place you should Visit WHEN your Academy Award Prediction Gone Wrong

hai, everyone!!! oscar week is just passed away and every time oscar mention why I always singing the opening monolog Neil Patrick harris version I don't know why. don't ask me. every year I always guess the right answer. Since "The Artist" won the academy award in 2012 I always guessing the right answer for best picture, Argo, 12 years a slave, Birdman and Spotlight.  Unfortunately, this year *sigh* I slipped the banana peel and Moonlight wins the oscar. congratulation anyway.

it's not because I'm not rooting for moonlight, it's because I took a late start at marathon oscar movie. when spotlight premiere, I watch it right away and I just got the feeling that spotlight will take the crown. this yearI'mm too busy watching which variety should i watch this week and seem forgot about The academy award. I'm sorry, its my fault.
Anyway, let's just talk about "Manchester By The Sea"
when the first time I heard bout it, I just read it and not intend to watch it sooner, I like Cassey Affleck so much but this movie takes almost 2 hours and a half. the last movie I watch that has long enough running time are "Schindler's list" and "Ode To My Father", but it takes a half year for me to watch it. One day in a breezy evening on january, with a bunch of cheetos and diet coke, im brace up myself setting my glasses and watch it. since that day, i believe that i already watched the academy award best pictue winning.

As i said before, the story about a guy named Lee Chandler ( Cassey Affleck ) living in his most miserably time in his life. working as a janitor apartment block in Boston, Sullen, Loner and introvert Guy. meanwhile he recieved a call from his neighbor hometown george told him that his Big brother Joe Chandler (Kyle Chandler) Just Passed away due to Heart Attack, without any choice lee back to his Hometown to break the News to Joe's teenage son, Patrick. in this time, when you watch the movie you will have the same thought as me, Why Lee has to be that gloomy and odd, it's his brother death by the way be more sensitive at least. but, you will be too busy thinking about how patrick accept the death of his father and how this accident effect in his daily basis while we look carefully at  lee jogging around Manchester by the sea to searching for what's actually the point of his life.
The conflict are actually, Lee found out that joe has asked him to take care of Patrick while Patrick doesn't want to live with his uncle and move to Boston, Lee met his ex-wife back in Manchester and his fatal life past experiences are starting to expose, trust me once you found out about that i feel like i should hug Cassey Affleck for everything that happens to him,  im sorry not Cassey Affleck but Lee Chandler.
Showcasing a good control acting class i believe Cassey Affleck potray the Character of lee Chandler perfectly tottally sullen and emotionally trouble, hiding something about that hard to Forget, securing his position as Oscar Best Performing in Leading Role. The Story, are a bit slow like  sunday evening wave in Brighton seaside, very quite but challenging, it makes you getting curious about why patrick Grow up to be a guy like that and expect he will show a reversal story, turn out his uncle is big reversal story, however sometimes The oscar are like to having Reversal Result. Brace your self out there, since the plot story are a bit slow and breezy becareful of getting bored and end up switching your netflix before it get climax. just don't, if you decided to watch this movie be faithful.

so in the end, i learn a lot today. even monkey will fall from the tree someday. this week i fall from the tree, i lost the banana and slipped into it. But i guess Lee Chandler make me realize something, You will Fall once in life, even two or three times, it would be worthless once you deciding to quit. one day will come and you have to fall again, only if that time you wouldn't quit you wouldn't fall in the future. you will now understand where is the wet floor with no the sign, you will tie your shoelace tightly, and you will check the leak on your pipe before you blame your next door neighbor.

in the end, should i quit predicting oscar next year ??

" Uncle Lee, Are you fundamentally unsound ? " Patrick Chandler, Manchester by the Sea